Where does ' The diary of a wildflower' come from?

"Oh that's different". "Wow, how random". "That's a mouthful", "I don't get it?". I have heard it all and I love that my business name sparks interest and creates questions and conversation. When I decided to turn my hand to being a photographer I didn't want to label my photography brand as myself. I didn't know a lot back then about being self employed and what I wanted to create, but I did know that much. It's very common for photographers to keep their vision simple and easy to distinguish by associating their business with their sole identity. I get it, it makes perfect sense and some creatives have the most perfectly blended names that roll off the tongue like smooth chocolate. Why wouldn't they take full advantage. It's delightful. I guess deep down it is something that at the beginning made me a little green-eyed.. For me it's always been different and so I sat for weeks deep in thought over finding a name that would carry me through each season of growth within my business. Where do I start?

There were many years I didn't have an 'identity' I could relate too. I didn't really like how my name looked or sounded growing up in my teens. In all honesty I didn't even really know what I liked or what I was good at. My strengths or my weaknesses. I just wanted to be liked by everyone and would adapt and change myself accordingly to fit in. My own name held no sentiment to me as I never really knew who Sophie Coyle was and my surname, well with a complexed childhood that's a story for another day.

I would often be happy to take the role of a made up fiction character from a film in role play in and would loose hours pretending to dress and act like my favourite singer or celebrity at the time on my own in my room. It sounds pretty sad and lonely but I had a great time. It was a form of escapism and it got my through many tough times. Evolving over the years as a mother, new wife (taking my new surname of Baker), the plunge of being a business owner and being diagnosed at 30 with ADHD, as cliche as it sounds sums up 'finding oneself'. It's most certainly been an adventure.. The diary of a wildflower was a spin off on something that meant so much more than a mouthful of words that on paper looked pretty. It held a constant reminder of my why. My purpose, my vision, who I am, where I've been and who I want to be. My identity. A name that I've never felt wasn't mine. A name that felt like home the minute it came to mind.

It is no secret that I am a sucker for literature and poetry. It's my geeky quirk and something that makes a lot of my friends who prefer to live life on the surface find hard to relate. As a young girl, things weren't always easy. Surrounded by severe mental health and battling with triggers I only now understand, I turned to reading and writing to understand and process my feelings and emotions. It was my therapy and it's something that like my love for flowers has never disappeared through age.

I love the sentiment behind words - diary extracts, poems, song lyrics, little hand written notes from the heart, reading peoples shopping lists, graffiti on the back of toilet doors, signatures at the bottom of oil paintings.. I find it all super fascinating.. It's an expression of a person and you can learn a lot about someone by how they write and how they interpret the world around them. I guess it is safe to say it is my love language. Conditioned in my younger years on therapy and counselling, I was taught how powerful putting your thoughts down can be. How much clarity and harmony it can personally bring to situations that feel heavy and confusing but also how sharing this can be just as monumental for growth and discovery. Every year I typewrite my girls a birthday letter. Talking about what they achieved, their interests, the funny moments and the challenging. I love looking back on things and seeing how far its come.

The "diary" side of my brand was to allow me to extend my love for words. To give myself permission to grow this part of myself in line with my brand that I would go on to pour my soul into. I wanted to be able to use references to poems that made me relate to a photo I'd taken or use words to raise awareness or support a cause of matter that with imagery provided the viewer an even deeper level of view. I wanted to be able to create my own hub to welcome those who aren't professional writers but authentic and open with their emotions to try and put the whispers of their hearts on paper with guidance and support. It is something that I'm still undecided on how to grow. I had even recently considered going back to school to develop my emotional therapy qualification and provide a service tailored to families much like mine when I was growing up.

I have had several meetings and telephone conversations with editors about creating my own range of journals. Something that has always been my dream and will one day become a reality. I just want to make sure I'm not rushing the process. To create beautiful stationary themed to the seasons of the flowers and host workshops and events that mix both photography and autobiography together as one. It's all in the pipeline and if you're reading this now, know you're one of the first to be in on this little dream of mine. I'm not sure if putting it out there before it is done is wise but I will always stand strong in my transparent and honest journey and documenting it all as it is. At least I can say you saw it here first..

I've found since forever, but especially since growing a business that secrets are everywhere. Sponsored by my neurodiverse brain I try to be as honest as possible in the nicest way I can be in every area of life. Whether I'm loved or hated for it. As a creative you are kind of taught to tread carefully in what you share, who you trust and what you decide to produce as there are lurkers watching your every move. Ready to pounce and either copy or criticise you in one way or another for their own self gain. I think we can all agree we live in a world where it's far easier to offend than impress these days, so I guess the rumours have context and it is all relatable in any industry you work within. When people would copy another, some would say its flattering, others would say insulting. I've learnt over the past year not to comment on such and to just try and stay in my lane. I take contentment in that fact when I look at my work I know where it came from and I give credit where it is due. Anything that I've seen which has gone onto inspire me I acknowledge. In doing so, I have made some wonderful friends that have been a pillar of support and comfort to me. It can be a lonely world but having a few you know have your back and that you can work alongside is just so powerful. It is ok to recreate things you have seen based on your own interpretation and perspective, it's when you claim someone else's interpretation and perspective as your own that it's not. Some are yet to learn and master the etiquette in this industry but I sleep well at night knowing that I'm not intentionally shortcutting or fighting anyone for the recognition that they so rightfully deserve. I will not share or create content under the pressures or fear of competition and rivalry. I am so much better than that and my dream is so much more than that.

It is worth noting that you will see patterns in my erratic thoughts. How my brain literally jumps from thing to thing and sometimes layer to layer. It is something I've often felt ashamed of and embarrassed by but I am reminded that it is my gift. If you care to stick around, I plan to write about this journey and the beautiful sessions that I am privileged enough to shoot. I will talk about the people I am lucky enough to sit with, their empowering stories and the work that I plan to do within the community around self love and self acceptance.

Now, back to the wildflower.

The meaning behind this half of the brand is a list that could go on forever. but, I will keep it short and sweet by referencing a quote I'm sure many of you are familiar with..

' Like a wildflower you must grow in places people never thought you would'.

A quote that I adore and that motivates me daily. It's so relative to me as I have been given many excuses to surrender and take the easy path in life but I've fought against the temptation and as a result have a life that I am truly blessed and grateful for.

But without doubt, the last and most important part of the ' Diary of a wildflower' mystery are my two daughters. Erin and Evie (better known as Pearl). There aren't enough words to express the ever-lasting impression these little seeds have had on my life since they entered it. My values, my hopes, My dreams, the many life lessons and awakenings (also in literal form) but, I will say that they are the reason I will never ever settle for less and why when I thought about running away from this opportunity and continuing to play life safely I thought, nope. It's time to shine Sophie. If not for you, for them.

It's time to sow that seed of hope and see what happens. One with straight golden hair and one with the wildest curls you will ever see - they are my wildflowers. Made from the same pack of seeds, sown with the same love and tenderness, nurtured in the same garden but yet still somehow so beautifully unique. like us all.

The real reason is them. It always has been and always will be.

Love

Sophie xo